My future plans

Today I made the drive down to Charleston, South Carolina to see my friend Mariah. Although it was hard to drive the whole way by myself, it was very nice; it was nice to just be alone and think and pray. One of the things that I have been thinking a lot about recently is my future. Not only has this been on my mind, but also being able to trust the Lord with my future and knowing that He is sovereign and no matter what I end up doing will be the best thing possible as long as it is His will. Anybody that knows me knows that I am very passionate about Physical Therapy and sports. Not only do I have a passion for those, but I also have a great passion for people and sharing God's love in any way possible. (Unfortunately I mess this up a lot but that's another blog another time!) Growing up my life was very sports oriented. Because of various physical ailments, I am not able to participate as competitively as I would like too, so I really enjoy helping others be able to participate. This is one of the main reasons why I really enjoy Physical Therapy. To be able to help people get back to their daily lives faster is an amazing blessing to watch unfold. As I watch the PTs that I work with do their jobs, I can't help but wonder if I am really going to be able to do that some day. Not because I think that I may not be good enough, but because I wonder if I will be able to physically keep up. I want to be a PT so bad, but Sometimes I wonder if I let my ideas of becoming one get in the way of me serving the Lord. Don't get me wrong, I know I can serve the Lord as a PT, but I don't know if I would be willing to give that up if the Lord called me to do something else. I pray that I will be able to though. I don't know, it all just seems so weird to think about how I might end up doing something different than what I have always thought that I would be doing. Another passion that I brought up earlier was talking with people and showing them God's love. I love getting to know people and learning why they are they way they are. It is so interesting to me to learn about a persons upbringing and what events have helped shape them into the person that they are today. Everybody has a story to tell and I love hearing them. Also, I love getting to talk to people and be able to give them a different perspective on things, remind them of who they are in Christ, or, if they aren't a Christian, talk to them about what I believe and give them something to think about. No matter what though, I love listening to people and talking with them. If I could do some kind of ministry for the Lord I would be more than happy. I don't really know how to go about all of this, but I am very interested in it, especially since I am physically falling apart and may not be able to go through with PT. I know I am rambling on, but I wanted to share a little bit more about what is going on in my life right now. Please keep me in your prayers, it is always appreciated. I am still young, but I do have to start thinking about my future and really be sensitive to the Spirit and where He wants me.

Love is an action

It is so nice to have friends that really love me. When I say love, I mean they don't just say that they love me, they show me that they love me. I have had a couple of great conversations since classes have started back up with some ladies that are a large part in my life. These conversations were hard, but much needed. Nobody wants their sins to be pointed out, but we all need it. It hurt for me to sit there and here people that I love and respect tell me about my sin. Although it hurt at the moment, I am so glad that they talked to me. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we are called to love each other and point each other to the Lord. If they hadn't done what they did, they wouldn't have been loving me at all. I know that all of this is redundant, but it is so important to know and I have to just write it out and share how awesome it is to be loved by God so much that He puts friends in my life to point me back to Him. It's also important to know that we are to be able to do the same for others. Now don't go crazy with it and tell everybody everything that might be wrong with them, but in a loving way, if you are close enough to them-let them know how you feel and what the Lord has laid on your heart. We are to spur each other on. Another thing that I noticed was that when I was having my sin pointed out, I just wanted to defend it. When somebody is confronting you, don't flip out on them. Listen to them, I bet they are talking to you out of love and want to help walk you through your hard times.

In Christ Alone

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Brought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

These are such great lyrics! I can read them over and over and still be moved by the words. I especially, at this point in my life, love the last verse. "Jesus commands my destiny" How awesome is that? I can be at peace knowing that He is in control. Nothing can ever pluck my from His hand! I am His and He is mine; I am His child and He will always love me and care for me. He is with me always and won't let anything happen to me that He can't carry me through. Thanks be to God!

Slow it Down!

Some of you that check my blog from time to time have noticed that I haven't written anything in quite some time. The reason I haven't written in so long is because I haven't really been staying in the Word. I have been doing so much stuff and hanging out with various people that I haven't taken the time to slow down and focus on the Lord. I am seeing how this is affecting my life in so many ways. I was sitting in my room with Blakely and she pointed out that I was in a bad mood. I knew I was in a foul mood, but I didn't really have a reason to be. I sat there for a moment and thought about what was bothering me. I couldn't come up with anything that I could really justify. When I really thought about it and was honest with myself, it was because I wasn't focusing on the Lord. This morning in college class, Brad said something tat really caught my attention. He was talking about how we really need to meditate on the Word. By this he meant that we need to slow down, read, and really ponder on the importance of a passage in the Bible. I have been so "busy" doing a whole lot of nothing. Really, I have had plenty of time, but I haven't been giving the Lord the attention that He deserves. Whoever is reading this, please keep me in your prayers that I will have a thirst for the Lord and slow down and take the time to focus on Him. From now on, if you notice I haven't written in a long time, chances are, I need your prayers because I am going through something and I am not focusing on the Lord. When you aren't growing, you're dieing.

BIG Blessing!

For the past several months I have been praying for my friend Blakely down in Alabama because she hasn't had as much good fellowship around to help her keep her eyes on the Lord. She has been through a lot the past couple of years and needs some good friends and brothers and sisters in Christ. I got a call last night asking me to pray about something big. Later on I got another call finalizing it. She has decided to come up here to Lexington to live with me! She is going to be taking classes at BCTC to stay under her dads insurance and then working. I am so excited for all my friends that don't already know her to meet her and for her to meet them. For everybody reading this, please be praying for her, her family, and everybody else involved. This is a big leap in faith for her and could definitely use the prayers. She decided to come up here because in her small town that she lives in, there aren't too many college age students that love the Lord. All of the ones that she knows from high school go off for college and won't be there. What she needs most right now is some other people that love the Lord and are her age to be around her and allow the Lord to use them in her life. I am so excited for her to move up here and I know that she is too.

I John 3:16

I John 3:16 "This is how we know what love is, that He laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for others."

I know I haven't written on here in a while-(well a week, but for me that is a while) but I have been learning so much! In talking to my friend tonight, I was shown so much. One thing that really stuck out is something that I have known, but not really known. Apart from Christ, there is no real love. I know that this may seem absurd, but it is the truth. For the past month or so the Lord has really been laying it on my heart to apologize to Matt, my ex-boyfriend. I have been wanting to apologize for not loving him. For three and a half years I claimed to be his best friend and to love him. My friend didn't come out and say that apart from Christ there is no love, but that is what the Lord showed me through our conversation. I had to call Matt tonight and tell him how sorry I am. I mean, three and a half years! That is a long time to tell somebody, and yourself, that you love them. When I told him how sorry I was, he was telling me that he forgives me and it's okay and that he still loves me as a person. It hit me so hard when he said that. I had to explain to him, even though it was so hard to say, but i never really loved him; I couldn't have. We didn't have a Christ-centered relationship and to be without Christ is to be without love. It all makes so much sense to me now, but I couldn't see that before. Another thing that the Lord showed me through my conversation with Matt was that apart from the Lord, I can easily do it again. It terrifies me to think that I could go and hurt somebody else the same way I hurt him. He started telling me that I couldn't do that again because I always care about other people before myself. Well, little does he know (I don't see how he doesn't know this) but I am so self-centered. I can very easily do this all over again. If I take my eyes off of the Lord, I could do it again and maybe even worse! It's by the grace of God that I am able to refrain from sinning as much as I could be, and without Him, I am just as capable as doing something horrific as any other person in this world. I was more than able to do it to Matt, and I see now that I did it because I wasn't seeking the Lord first. I wasn't centering my life around Him and I was selfish and hurt him in a way that I never thought that I could.

I really needed this little lesson tonight. I was talking to a friend about wanting to be pursued by a guy that I like. Yea, I want to be pursued by him, especially since I know that he likes me, but if he isn't ready spiritually to pursue somebody, then I shouldn't want to be pursued by him. I should be at peace and be overjoyed that the Lord is telling him not to pursue me because that means that he is centering his life around Christ. If he can't do that, then I shouldn't want to be with him, and the same goes the other way too. If I am not centering my life around Christ, Lord willing, I will have the knowledge to stay away from a relationship because then I won't be loving that other person. Friends are great. It is such a blessing to have so many brothers and sisters in Christ to help us keep our eyes on the Lord. We should only put our hope in Him because everything else in life will fail miserably.

Broken Love

I was talking to a buddy of mine today about love. He was telling me how his little sister is only 13 and she is falling in "love" left and right. I don't know the extent to her boy craze, but it sure does bring me back to when I was her age. When I was that age every guy I "dated" was the guy for me; or so I thought. It is so funny, yet sad, to look back and remember how in "love" I was with these boys. I was convinced of my love. Now that I am older and am an expert at love, (HA! NOT REALLY) I see how little I did know. When I look at love even today, I see how little I know. Yes, I know a little bit more than I did back then, but recently I got out of a three and half year relationship with somebody. The more that I look at God's love, I see how little I loved this guy. It breaks my heart to know that I was in a relationship with him for so long and called him my best friend yet didn't love him as a sister in Christ. I thought that I was loving him and pointing out his sin, but when I think about it, I wasn't loving him, I was loving myself. Yea I pointed out his sin, but only to make me happy. If something annoyed me, of course I am going to point it out. It's so hard to remember that first you must die to your own sin and love others before yourself. I shouldn't have been pointing out his sin for my gratification, but so that he may grow in his relationship with the Lord. I try my hardest to love people around me, and no matter how hard I try, it is still broken love that is pale in comparison to God's love for us. The only way that I can learn how to love others is by looking at God's love for us in sacrificing His one and only son. Am I really ready to sacrifice what is most precious to me for somebody else? I am still learning much about love and I know that I will continue to learn until I am brought home some day. Please pray for me to have a thirst for God and a thirst to be Christ-like in my day-to-day life.