Psalm 16:11

"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forever more."

This morning in my church's College Class at the very end the guy speaking brought up this verse. It hit me so hard and will stick with me for years to come. It is so good to hear and would behoove me to hear every day for the rest of my life. As you know, I struggle with really knowing that all I need is God. I know it in my head, but it is hard for me to really know it in my heart and base my life on it. It seems so simple to say: "Well, duh! All you need to do is stay in the Word and be like Christ. Put your all in Him and everything will unfold in His time. Everything that will ever happen is in His hands so just relax and enjoy Him!" Ha, I wish it were that easy. I can't tell you how many times I have told people to put everything in the Lords hands and everything will work out perfectly, just as He wants it to. It's sad that I can tell so many people that but for some reason I don't even do it. I have mentioned several times in various other posts that my biggest struggle is trying to find my identity in relationships. I want to be liked. I want for people to look at me and enjoy being around me. I know in my head that all I have to do for that to happen is to love the Lord and give Him glory and it will happen. My problem is that I tend to forget about that. I find myself wondering what is wrong with me and why I don't have guys flocking to me. Sounds funny, I know-and it is very embarrassing for me to admit this, but this is me and my sin. If I try to hide it, then I won't be giving God glory in showing His great love, mercy, grace, and so forth. When I am honest with myself, I realize just how filthy my rags are that I always try to present to people and worst of all, God. I love the Lord with all my heart, and I want to bring Him glory in ALL that I do. That's just the thing though. If I am to bring HIM the glory, I have got to take my mind off of myself and start thinking about how I can show His glory and all good that He is. I am trying too hard to show everybody my "glory" and all of the "good" that I am. That's funny, because I am far from anything that is presentable. As I am writing this I am realizing that it is only through God's grace that I am able to interact with others. If this is so, then I ought to be bringing Him glory. When something good happens, we ought not praise the good thing, but the Maker who gave us whatever it is. We don't worship the created but the Creator. Wow, writing this out has helped me and I pray that it helps somebody else. I know that it isn't through my words, but through the Holy Spirit working in whomever and showing them who He is. I pray that through my ugly sin, the Lord will be able to show you something that is amazing. I pray that He will show you more about Himself.